I am listening to Kizz Daniel’s Madu, enjoying the vibes the song brings when thoughts about Bella cross my mind and my mood suddenly turns sour. Bella and I have been dating for about 2 years now, and things have been going smoothly up until recently. We met at a mutual friend’s birthday bash, and ever since then we have been almost inseparable. We have had really fun memories together. And I honestly think she is the person I want to spend my entire life with. I recently mentioned it to her and she seemed cool with it at the time.
But these days, I have started to pick up some odd vibes from her. She doesn’t seem so excited to see me anymore. She also spends less time with me on our phone conversations. If I didn’t know any better, I would say she was intentionally trying to sabotage our relationship, but maybe I actually didn’t know any better. Or she was just having one of those mood swings girls have. I should probably just give her some time and see if she would come around. The earth can only survive so long without the sun. “Bella would come around eventually” I console myself as I plug in my ear buds and let “Madu” vibes arrest my mind.
You know, when they talk about love, they don’t tell you everything. No, they sugar-coat it and talk about happily ever afters, the simple and complex arguments and the bizarre breakups. Maybe they even tell of some of the struggles…but they never talk about us. They don’t tell you of the several trials and errors. They don’t tell you of the pain, and the stigma. They don’t tell you about us, the ones who fall for people we can’t be with. I fell in love with Mide the first day I met him and it still scares me, how much I love him.
But I see the looks people give us, wondering what he’s doing with someone older, judging us. I heard them talk about my desperation every other day, and of how I’d charmed him. I constantly went to bed in tears until I just couldn’t take it anymore. So, I called him and ended it. I didn’t wait for him to say anything because I knew he’d try to convince me otherwise. My mind was made up, I was tired…and in pain.
I knew something was up. A few days ago, Bella called to break up with me. She did not say why, but I knew still. Our difference in age was always an issue with her, but I had hoped she would overcome it. I thought what we had together would overcome it. It has never made any sense to me why the age difference between a couple who have found love in each other had to be an issue. Who cares about the month and day you came to earth, what does it matter? All that matters is that we are here, and we have found love in each other.
My heart is crushed and I have hardly slept in three days. Nothing in the world makes sense to me. It feels like a part of me has been shredded apart into a million pieces. She wouldn’t pick or return my calls. She doesn’t want to talk to me. I really hope she sees the silliness in her reasoning and comes around. And if she doesn’t, I hope I come a little earlier than her in the next life so that she is satisfied. But it would never make any difference to me. I love Bella as much as I would do in another universe, so long as our paths cross. Age should never be a barrier to love.
-The Grace Ola in Collaboration with Kolade Pelumi
(CONTACT US- IG: @thegraceola and @poetrybypelumi, Twitter: @thegraceola, FB: Oyinkansola Ogunyinka, Email: email@example.com)