Father of Lights: A Prayer

I can feel myself changing…everyday. And I know I can’t be the only one who feels this way.

One day, I like basic earrings and jeans and the next, loops and sweaters have my heart.

I can’t make up my mind about most things even up until the very last minute and even then, I act with uncertainty.

I wake up sometimes and set about my tasks only to be consumed by this inexplicable state of panic.

I can never understand it. All I know is that I can’t seem to wrap my mind around it but I stop paying attention and feel my blood run cold.

Trying to help matters, I turn to songs and long walks, deceptive pictures and surface conversations.

In the end, I come full circle and right back to where I started.

Empty yet full. Blessed yet ungrateful. Eating but hungry. Rich but riddled with liability.

All I really need is peace of mind, love and music that makes my blood rush, my soul sing along and my spirit light.

What I’m really trying to say is this…I need you Lord.

Even when words are not enough and my heart feels weighed down…I need your touch.

I can’t seem to find my way back to your feet, covered beneath your loving arms.

I am like a flame, the candle tossed here and there by winds, a bulb under the command of a switch, a shooting star to wish upon.This is me baring my soul…laying it all before you with no barriers. Please make my spirit dance, like every light can.

For I have learned that everything good comes from you…Father of Lights

– The Grace Ola


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