A Teenage Nigerian Girl’s Journal on Life, Love and Hate

Hey there!

I’m Grace as you know and I’m back again to turn your minds inside out and upside down with my amazingly weird and confusing logic. You are advised to hang on to your sanity and brains as I take you on another journey through my mind. Please fasten your seatbelts and hang on tight. Under no circumstances should you undo your seatbelt or let go of your seat let alone standing up because you might just end up in a labyrinth of seats and strange faces in this aircraft to our destination. Don’t say I didn’t warn you if you disobey my rules and get utterly and completely lost and confused by my logic.

A lot of you think life is all easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy for teenage girls in the world today. Well, allow me to be the one to enlighten you further since you have probably not heard this before or have heard it from your daughter, sister, cousin or niece and just weren’t paying enough attention to take it seriously which only adds to the problem. In case you’re wondering, yes, it is that bad my lovelies. The female species are a very emotional group of people and they tend to feel a lot, more than they want to or are good for them and those around them sometimes, myself included. It seems the majority of you have actually forgotten what it feels like to be young, to be thirteen, sixteen or nineteen while others are actually in that stage of their lives right now, like me. It doesn’t really matter either way; add or take some. We’re talking your teenage years here. Anyway, because of this basic fact alone, an already hard life for teenagers, especially girls is made even harder.

I tend to be walking the lines of being biased but hey, I’m only speaking MY mind from MY own point of view. Come to think of it, what is actually so hard about being a teenage girl? No no. Since we are going into this in detail, I think that we should narrow it down to a specific geographical location, yeah? One that I am most familiar with since I am the tutor for today.

My sincere apologies to all my adult readers who always like to be in control of every situation they find themselves in and be the bosses. Sorry, I’m the boss here for today. That being said, I’m going to be discussing the heartfelt struggles of a teenage Nigerian girl in this era or generation or whatever you choose to call it that we live in. Okay good. `

Quick caution before we begin: Note that the contents of this text are limited to my own personal knowledge and so I might not touch some of the issues involved however important because I don’t know about them at all or I don’t know enough about them to actually talk about. Also, if some of the facts are inaccurate to the best of your knowledge or those of your incredibly ‘knowledgeable’ search engines, I apologize in advance and will stand corrected. Now my lovelies let us begin.

Firstly, there is the problem of love. This can come in different ways. It’s either we think we are in love and want to be loved back, we are actually in love and are loved back or are in love and the feeling isn’t shared by the member of the opposite sex involved or nowadays, even of the same sex, sadly. Either way, it’s still hard for us. Why?, you may ask. Especially in the case of those girls who love and are loved back. Well let me tell you why, teenage love is as deadly in Nigeria as it is anywhere in the world. It can crush you and bring you back to your feet and crush you AGAIN because you are already on the way to mild kissing at first, ‘frenching’, ‘straffing’, condoms, sex and eventually in a lot of cases, unwanted pregnancies.

It doesn’t matter whichever of the categories that I mentioned above that you fall into, most times, they follow much the same path and end tragically except for those who keep their heads on their neck and looking nowhere else but ahead. Only those teenagers stand a chance at avoiding it or getting out of it with their sanity and scars that will remain with them for life, maybe even a gift(if they regard it as such) of a child to always remind them of how they lived, ‘loved’ and learned. Others, everyone knows the rest, no need to go into the sorry stories of those who lived, ‘loved’ and didn’t learn. Such a naked way to put it yeah? That’s just me for you. Don’t get me wrong, these always have their flowery unicorns and butterflies moments just that most of them sadly don’t last except in rare cases.

Also, there are the innocent teenage girls that are in love or feel that they are in love but don’t act upon it like others around them do because they’ve not been brought up that way or their fear of God. Even they find those years hard and trying and some may even fall by the wayside due to peer pressure from all sides and their own raging hormones and egos easily fanned with gifts and sweet words. Anyways, that’s it for those who love or think that they are in love and is or are not loved in return.

Secondly, there is the problem of hate. This can also come in different ways. Its either we hate some people or think that we do or are hated by people or think that we are. Now, if you hate someone, it is deadly and if you think that you hate someone, then you probably do hate the person and that is equally as deadly as the afore mentioned. As typical teenage girls, we tend to make and keep, yes keep,  a lot of enemies and go about telling everyone possible or maybe just our friends how much we hate these people. Now, it is always helpful to try as much as possible not to hate anybody but if you already do, try to stop because hate is like poison. A simple analogy is you drinking poison and expecting the person on the receiving end of your hatred to die. That’s right: it just isn’t possible. In actuality, you are committing nothing but suicide.

And then, for those who are hated by others or think that they are, well, your case is different. Why? Because many factors can come into play. Now, if you are hated because you stand for what you believe in, that is, God, well then, your haters are asking for trouble and you don’t have to be bothered about that. Just keep being nice to them and pray for them, it’s hard to keep hating someone when all they do is ooze love. But…if you are hated for a bad character(s), then you need to check yourself. This is because, it is those like this that always think heaven and earth of themselves and have egos as tall as Mount Kilimanjaro. One day, you will fall off your high horse and no one will be there to pick you up because you already pushed everyone away with your attitude. So, my friends out there who fall into this category, to be forewarned is to be forearmed. Change your ways and be blessed.

That’s all for today dears. Until next time, God bless you my lovelies. Always remember, God loves you more than you can ever fathom. 🙂