The Tears I Cried 1

I entered the house with a smile on my face and walked towards my room, the room I shared with my husband of five years. Today was our wedding anniversary and I knew he was still at work right now. But he had had a card and dinner dress delivered to my workplace earlier in the day with a note promising to pick me up from work for a surprise.

Of course I was exhilarated but I had my own surprise planned too so I decided to come home and get the place ready. Then, I would rush back to work and wait for him so he wouldn’t suspect a thing till we got back. Like my friend had advised, I wanted to surprise him when he got back just to add some spice to our love life since we were always so busy with work to even have time for each other sometimes. After that, I would tell him I wanted things to be different so that we could learn to create more time for each other from then on.

Still smiling stupidly at how carefree and relaxed I felt about my plan, I opened the room door and walked in. Little did I know that that was the beginning of my nightmare as a married woman. An unfamiliar lady lay on her back while my husband slept with her on our matrimonial bed.

She made nauseating sounds as he touched her and whispered soft words into her ears, sounds I should have been making and words I should have been hearing. I just stood there watching; waiting for something I didn’t even know; maybe for one of them to see me. But no, they were way too busy. This nightmare; this was real, as real as his filthy hands on the whore on my bed. My whole body shook as I stood there watching them and I suddenly started to feel dizzy, bile rising in my throat. This man, who professed love to me every day and who I was celebrating a fifth year wedding anniversary with was the same one on our matrimonial bed on top of another woman and I could almost laugh at the absurdity of all of it but I was in pain; so much pain that I couldn’t even express. I felt as though someone had forced his hand into my soul and ripped my heart into smidgens. Its constant and painful contracting told me my heart was still there though but only physically. And to think we prayed together to God every morning; all those times he professed love for God, did he really mean it? Silent tears flowed down my cheeks freely and I made no attempt to stop them. I deserved to let out my pain, to feel and I couldn’t care less if they heard me. I had a right to my pain and before I could think, a piercing scream escaped my lips never for once taking my eyes off them.

Then, I saw the woman look up first and she caught my gaze. The malice that glinted in her eyes hit me like a rock and I almost staggered back in shock. Then, I looked at my darling husband who had on the guilty look of a man caught in the act. For a split second our eyes met and all I could see was red. Without thinking, I went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife, ready to put an end to the cheating bastard and his mistress. I could kill them now in cold blood without a single regret. As I got back to the room, the knife behind my back, I saw the both of them rushing into their clothes. The insolent whore had a disdainful look on her face even as I entered and my anger increased. She had the audacity to mock me and my anger grew into blind rage.

Pulling out the knife, I stared from it to their pathetic fearful faces and imagined what it would be like to draw their bloods but stopped in my tracks as fearful screams escaped their mouths and…as realization dawned on me. This wasn’t a movie or a novel, this was the real world and in the real world, I could go to jail for murder or best case scenario, a psychiatric home for being crazy and this was not who I was. He had cheated on me and it stung but even as I watched them run for their lives, I let the knife clatter to the ground and sank to the ground in tears not caring that the jagged wall was bruising my skin. My tears rushed down uncontrollably even as I cried for the lie that was my husband.

…To be continued